SCENE II
The same.
[Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO and MOTH]
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?
Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?
MOTH
A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Why, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp.
Why, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp.
MOTH
No, no; O Lord, sir, no.
No, no; O Lord, sir, no.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal?
How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal?
MOTH
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough senior.
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough senior.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Why tough senior? why tough senior?
Why tough senior? why tough senior?
MOTH
Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal?
Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to thy young days, which we may nominate tender.
I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to thy young days, which we may nominate tender.
MOTH
And I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which we may name tough.
And I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which we may name tough.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Pretty and apt.
Pretty and apt.
MOTH
How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or I apt, and my saying pretty?
How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or I apt, and my saying pretty?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Thou pretty, because little.
Thou pretty, because little.
MOTH
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
And therefore apt, because quick.
And therefore apt, because quick.
MOTH
Speak you this in my praise, master?
Speak you this in my praise, master?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
In thy condign praise.
In thy condign praise.
MOTH
I will praise an eel with the same praise.
I will praise an eel with the same praise.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
What, that an eel is ingenious?
What, that an eel is ingenious?
MOTH
That an eel is quick.
That an eel is quick.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I do say thou art quick in answers: thou heatest my blood.
I do say thou art quick in answers: thou heatest my blood.
MOTH
I am answered, sir.
I am answered, sir.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I love not to be crossed.
I love not to be crossed.
MOTH
[Aside] He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him.
[Aside] He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I have promised to study three years with the duke.
I have promised to study three years with the duke.
MOTH
You may do it in an hour, sir.
You may do it in an hour, sir.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Impossible.
Impossible.
MOTH
How many is one thrice told?
How many is one thrice told?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
MOTH
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I confess both: they are both the varnish of a complete man.
I confess both: they are both the varnish of a complete man.
MOTH
Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
It doth amount to one more than two.
It doth amount to one more than two.
MOTH
Which the base vulgar do call three.
Which the base vulgar do call three.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
True.
True.
MOTH
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is three studied, ere ye’ll thrice wink: and how easy it is to put ’years’ to the word ’three,’ and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will tell you.
Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is three studied, ere ye’ll thrice wink: and how easy it is to put ’years’ to the word ’three,’ and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will tell you.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
A most fine figure!
A most fine figure!
MOTH
To prove you a cipher.
To prove you a cipher.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should outswear Cupid. Comfort, me, boy: what great men have been in love?
I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should outswear Cupid. Comfort, me, boy: what great men have been in love?
MOTH
Hercules, master.
Hercules, master.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.
Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.
MOTH
Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back like a porter: and he was in love.
Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back like a porter: and he was in love.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson’s love, my dear Moth?
O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson’s love, my dear Moth?
MOTH
A woman, master.
A woman, master.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Of what complexion?
Of what complexion?
MOTH
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.
Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
Tell me precisely of what complexion.
MOTH
Of the sea-water green, sir.
Of the sea-water green, sir.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Is that one of the four complexions?
Is that one of the four complexions?
MOTH
As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
MOTH
It was so, sir; for she had a green wit.
It was so, sir; for she had a green wit.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
My love is most immaculate white and red.
My love is most immaculate white and red.
MOTH
Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under such colours.
Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under such colours.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Define, define, well-educated infant.
Define, define, well-educated infant.
MOTH
My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist me!
My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist me!
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty and pathetical!
Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty and pathetical!
MOTH
Her faults will ne’er be known,
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred
And fears by pale white shown:
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
By this you shall not know,
For still her cheeks possess the same
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
white and red.
| If she be made of white and red, |
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred
And fears by pale white shown:
Then if she fear, or be to blame,
By this you shall not know,
For still her cheeks possess the same
Which native she doth owe.
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
white and red.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
MOTH
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since: but I think now ’tis not to be found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for the writing nor the tune.
The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since: but I think now ’tis not to be found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for the writing nor the tune.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well.
I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well.
MOTH
| [Aside] | To be whipped; and yet a better love than my master. |
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love.
Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love.
MOTH
And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench.
And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I say, sing.
I say, sing.
MOTH
Forbear till this company be past.
Forbear till this company be past.
[Enter DULL, COSTARD, and JAQUENETTA]
DULL
Sir, the duke’s pleasure is, that you keep Costard safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight nor no penance; but a’ must fast three days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well.
Sir, the duke’s pleasure is, that you keep Costard safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight nor no penance; but a’ must fast three days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I do betray myself with blushing. Maid!
I do betray myself with blushing. Maid!
JAQUENETTA
Man?
Man?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I will visit thee at the lodge.
I will visit thee at the lodge.
JAQUENETTA
That’s hereby.
That’s hereby.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I know where it is situate.
I know where it is situate.
JAQUENETTA
Lord, how wise you are!
Lord, how wise you are!
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I will tell thee wonders.
I will tell thee wonders.
JAQUENETTA
With that face?
With that face?
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I love thee.
I love thee.
JAQUENETTA
So I heard you say.
So I heard you say.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
And so, farewell.
And so, farewell.
JAQUENETTA
Fair weather after you!
Fair weather after you!
DULL
Come, Jaquenetta, away!
Come, Jaquenetta, away!
[Exeunt DULL and JAQUENETTA]
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.
Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.
COSTARD
Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a full stomach.
Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a full stomach.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Thou shalt be heavily punished.
Thou shalt be heavily punished.
COSTARD
I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded.
I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded.
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Take away this villain; shut him up.
Take away this villain; shut him up.
MOTH
Come, you transgressing slave; away!
Come, you transgressing slave; away!
COSTARD
Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose.
Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose.
MOTH
No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.
No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.
COSTARD
Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen, some shall see.
Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen, some shall see.
MOTH
What shall some see?
What shall some see?
COSTARD
Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank God I have as little patience as another man; and therefore I can be quiet.
Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank God I have as little patience as another man; and therefore I can be quiet.
[Exeunt MOTH and COSTARD]
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil: there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules’ club; and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier. The first and second cause will not serve my turn; the passado he respects not, the duello he regards not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier! be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea, he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.
I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil: there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules’ club; and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier. The first and second cause will not serve my turn; the passado he respects not, the duello he regards not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier! be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea, he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.
[Exit]
