SCENE II
The Same. A street.
[Enter CRESSIDA and ALEXANDER]
CRESSIDA
Who were those went by?
Who were those went by?
ALEXANDER
Queen Hecuba and Helen.
Queen Hecuba and Helen.
CRESSIDA
And whither go they?
And whither go they?
ALEXANDER
Up to the eastern tower,
Whose height commands as subject all the vale,
To see the battle. Hector, whose patience
Is, as a virtue, fix’d, to-day was moved:
He chid Andromache and struck his armourer,
And, like as there were husbandry in war,
Before the sun rose he was harness’d light,
And to the field goes he; where every flower
Did, as a prophet, weep what it foresaw
In Hector’s wrath.
Up to the eastern tower,
Whose height commands as subject all the vale,
To see the battle. Hector, whose patience
Is, as a virtue, fix’d, to-day was moved:
He chid Andromache and struck his armourer,
And, like as there were husbandry in war,
Before the sun rose he was harness’d light,
And to the field goes he; where every flower
Did, as a prophet, weep what it foresaw
In Hector’s wrath.
CRESSIDA
| What was his cause of anger? |
ALEXANDER
The noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks
A lord of Trojan blood, nephew to Hector;
They call him Ajax.
The noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks
A lord of Trojan blood, nephew to Hector;
They call him Ajax.
CRESSIDA
Good; and what of him?
Good; and what of him?
ALEXANDER
They say he is a very man per se,
And stands alone.
They say he is a very man per se,
And stands alone.
CRESSIDA
So do all men, unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs.
So do all men, unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs.
ALEXANDER
This man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of their particular additions; he is as valiant as the lion, churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant: a man into whom nature hath so crowded humours that his valour is crushed into folly, his folly sauced with discretion: there is no man hath a virtue that he hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he carries some stain of it: he is melancholy without cause, and merry against the hair: he hath the joints of every thing, but everything so out of joint that he is a gouty Briareus, many hands and no use, or purblind Argus, all eyes and no sight.
This man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of their particular additions; he is as valiant as the lion, churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant: a man into whom nature hath so crowded humours that his valour is crushed into folly, his folly sauced with discretion: there is no man hath a virtue that he hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he carries some stain of it: he is melancholy without cause, and merry against the hair: he hath the joints of every thing, but everything so out of joint that he is a gouty Briareus, many hands and no use, or purblind Argus, all eyes and no sight.
CRESSIDA
But how should this man, that makes me smile, make Hector angry?
But how should this man, that makes me smile, make Hector angry?
ALEXANDER
They say he yesterday coped Hector in the battle and struck him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath ever since kept Hector fasting and waking.
They say he yesterday coped Hector in the battle and struck him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath ever since kept Hector fasting and waking.
CRESSIDA
Who comes here?
Who comes here?
ALEXANDER
Madam, your uncle Pandarus.
Madam, your uncle Pandarus.
[Enter PANDARUS]
CRESSIDA
Hector’s a gallant man.
Hector’s a gallant man.
ALEXANDER
As may be in the world, lady.
As may be in the world, lady.
PANDARUS
What’s that? what’s that?
What’s that? what’s that?
CRESSIDA
Good morrow, uncle Pandarus.
Good morrow, uncle Pandarus.
PANDARUS
Good morrow, cousin Cressid: what do you talk of?
Good morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When were you at Ilium?
Good morrow, cousin Cressid: what do you talk of?
Good morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When were you at Ilium?
CRESSIDA
This morning, uncle.
This morning, uncle.
PANDARUS
What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector armed and gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not up, was she?
What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector armed and gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not up, was she?
CRESSIDA
Hector was gone, but Helen was not up.
Hector was gone, but Helen was not up.
PANDARUS
Even so: Hector was stirring early.
Even so: Hector was stirring early.
CRESSIDA
That were we talking of, and of his anger.
That were we talking of, and of his anger.
PANDARUS
Was he angry?
Was he angry?
CRESSIDA
So he says here.
So he says here.
PANDARUS
True, he was so: I know the cause too: he’ll lay about him to-day, I can tell them that: and there’s Troilus will not come far behind him: let them take heed of Troilus, I can tell them that too.
True, he was so: I know the cause too: he’ll lay about him to-day, I can tell them that: and there’s Troilus will not come far behind him: let them take heed of Troilus, I can tell them that too.
CRESSIDA
What, is he angry too?
What, is he angry too?
PANDARUS
Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two.
Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two.
CRESSIDA
O Jupiter! there’s no comparison.
O Jupiter! there’s no comparison.
PANDARUS
What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a man if you see him?
What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a man if you see him?
CRESSIDA
Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him.
Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him.
PANDARUS
Well, I say Troilus is Troilus.
Well, I say Troilus is Troilus.
CRESSIDA
Then you say as I say; for, I am sure, he is not Hector.
Then you say as I say; for, I am sure, he is not Hector.
PANDARUS
No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees.
No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees.
CRESSIDA
’Tis just to each of them; he is himself.
’Tis just to each of them; he is himself.
PANDARUS
Himself! Alas, poor Troilus! I would he were.
Himself! Alas, poor Troilus! I would he were.
CRESSIDA
So he is.
So he is.
PANDARUS
Condition, I had gone barefoot to India.
Condition, I had gone barefoot to India.
CRESSIDA
He is not Hector.
He is not Hector.
PANDARUS
Himself! no, he’s not himself: would a’ were himself! Well, the gods are above; time must friend or end: well, Troilus, well: I would my heart were in her body. No, Hector is not a better man than Troilus.
Himself! no, he’s not himself: would a’ were himself! Well, the gods are above; time must friend or end: well, Troilus, well: I would my heart were in her body. No, Hector is not a better man than Troilus.
CRESSIDA
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
PANDARUS
He is elder.
He is elder.
CRESSIDA
Pardon me, pardon me.
Pardon me, pardon me.
PANDARUS
Th’ other’s not come to’t; you shall tell me another tale, when th’ other’s come to’t. Hector shall not have his wit this year.
Th’ other’s not come to’t; you shall tell me another tale, when th’ other’s come to’t. Hector shall not have his wit this year.
CRESSIDA
He shall not need it, if he have his own.
He shall not need it, if he have his own.
PANDARUS
Nor his qualities.
Nor his qualities.
CRESSIDA
No matter.
No matter.
PANDARUS
Nor his beauty.
Nor his beauty.
CRESSIDA
’Twould not become him; his own’s better.
’Twould not become him; his own’s better.
PANDARUS
You have no judgment, niece: Helen herself swore th’ other day, that Troilus, for a brown favour – for so ’tis, I must confess, – not brown neither, –
You have no judgment, niece: Helen herself swore th’ other day, that Troilus, for a brown favour – for so ’tis, I must confess, – not brown neither, –
CRESSIDA
No, but brown.
No, but brown.
PANDARUS
’Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown.
’Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown.
CRESSIDA
To say the truth, true and not true.
To say the truth, true and not true.
PANDARUS
She praised his complexion above Paris.
She praised his complexion above Paris.
CRESSIDA
Why, Paris hath colour enough.
Why, Paris hath colour enough.
PANDARUS
So he has.
So he has.
CRESSIDA
Then Troilus should have too much: if she praised him above, his complexion is higher than his; he having colour enough, and the other higher, is too flaming a praise for a good complexion. I had as lief Helen’s golden tongue had commended Troilus for a copper nose.
Then Troilus should have too much: if she praised him above, his complexion is higher than his; he having colour enough, and the other higher, is too flaming a praise for a good complexion. I had as lief Helen’s golden tongue had commended Troilus for a copper nose.
PANDARUS
I swear to you. I think Helen loves him better than Paris.
I swear to you. I think Helen loves him better than Paris.
CRESSIDA
Then she’s a merry Greek indeed.
Then she’s a merry Greek indeed.
PANDARUS
Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th’ other day into the compassed window, – and, you know, he has not past three or four hairs on his chin, –
Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th’ other day into the compassed window, – and, you know, he has not past three or four hairs on his chin, –
CRESSIDA
Indeed, a tapster’s arithmetic may soon bring his particulars therein to a total.
Indeed, a tapster’s arithmetic may soon bring his particulars therein to a total.
PANDARUS
Why, he is very young: and yet will he, within three pound, lift as much as his brother Hector.
Why, he is very young: and yet will he, within three pound, lift as much as his brother Hector.
CRESSIDA
Is he so young a man and so old a lifter?
Is he so young a man and so old a lifter?
PANDARUS
But to prove to you that Helen loves him: she came and puts me her white hand to his cloven chin –
But to prove to you that Helen loves him: she came and puts me her white hand to his cloven chin –
CRESSIDA
Juno have mercy! how came it cloven?
Juno have mercy! how came it cloven?
PANDARUS
Why, you know ’tis dimpled: I think his smiling becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia.
Why, you know ’tis dimpled: I think his smiling becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia.
CRESSIDA
O, he smiles valiantly.
O, he smiles valiantly.
PANDARUS
Does he not?
Does he not?
CRESSIDA
O yes, an ’twere a cloud in autumn.
O yes, an ’twere a cloud in autumn.
PANDARUS
Why, go to, then: but to prove to you that Helen loves Troilus, –
Why, go to, then: but to prove to you that Helen loves Troilus, –
CRESSIDA
Troilus will stand to the proof, if you’ll prove it so.
Troilus will stand to the proof, if you’ll prove it so.
PANDARUS
Troilus! why, he esteems her no more than I esteem an addle egg.
Troilus! why, he esteems her no more than I esteem an addle egg.
CRESSIDA
If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle head, you would eat chickens i’ the shell.
If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle head, you would eat chickens i’ the shell.
PANDARUS
I cannot choose but laugh, to think how she tickled his chin: indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I must needs confess, –
I cannot choose but laugh, to think how she tickled his chin: indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I must needs confess, –
CRESSIDA
Without the rack.
Without the rack.
PANDARUS
And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin.
And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin.
CRESSIDA
Alas, poor chin! many a wart is richer.
Alas, poor chin! many a wart is richer.
PANDARUS
But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laughed that her eyes ran o’er.
But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laughed that her eyes ran o’er.
CRESSIDA
With mill-stones.
With mill-stones.
PANDARUS
And Cassandra laughed.
And Cassandra laughed.
CRESSIDA
But there was more temperate fire under the pot of her eyes: did her eyes run o’er too?
But there was more temperate fire under the pot of her eyes: did her eyes run o’er too?
PANDARUS
And Hector laughed.
And Hector laughed.
CRESSIDA
At what was all this laughing?
At what was all this laughing?
PANDARUS
Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus’ chin.
Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus’ chin.
CRESSIDA
An’t had been a green hair, I should have laughed too.
An’t had been a green hair, I should have laughed too.
PANDARUS
They laughed not so much at the hair as at his pretty answer.
They laughed not so much at the hair as at his pretty answer.
CRESSIDA
What was his answer?
What was his answer?
PANDARUS
Quoth she, ’Here’s but two and fifty hairs on your chin, and one of them is white.
Quoth she, ’Here’s but two and fifty hairs on your chin, and one of them is white.
CRESSIDA
This is her question.
This is her question.
PANDARUS
That’s true; make no question of that. ’Two and fifty hairs’ quoth he, ’and one white: that white hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons.’ ’Jupiter!’ quoth she, ’which of these hairs is Paris, my husband? ’The forked one,’ quoth he, ’pluck’t out, and give it him.’ But there was such laughing! and Helen so blushed, an Paris so chafed, and all the rest so laughed, that it passed.
That’s true; make no question of that. ’Two and fifty hairs’ quoth he, ’and one white: that white hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons.’ ’Jupiter!’ quoth she, ’which of these hairs is Paris, my husband? ’The forked one,’ quoth he, ’pluck’t out, and give it him.’ But there was such laughing! and Helen so blushed, an Paris so chafed, and all the rest so laughed, that it passed.
CRESSIDA
So let it now; for it has been while going by.
So let it now; for it has been while going by.
PANDARUS
Well, cousin. I told you a thing yesterday; think on’t.
Well, cousin. I told you a thing yesterday; think on’t.
CRESSIDA
So I do.
So I do.
PANDARUS
I’ll be sworn ’tis true; he will weep you, an ’twere a man born in April.
I’ll be sworn ’tis true; he will weep you, an ’twere a man born in April.
CRESSIDA
And I’ll spring up in his tears, an ’twere a nettle against May.
And I’ll spring up in his tears, an ’twere a nettle against May.
[A retreat sounded]
PANDARUS
Hark! they are coming from the field: shall we stand up here, and see them as they pass toward Ilium? good niece, do, sweet niece Cressida.
Hark! they are coming from the field: shall we stand up here, and see them as they pass toward Ilium? good niece, do, sweet niece Cressida.
CRESSIDA
At your pleasure.
At your pleasure.
PANDARUS
Here, here, here’s an excellent place; here we may see most bravely: I’ll tell you them all by their names as they pass by; but mark Troilus above the rest.
Here, here, here’s an excellent place; here we may see most bravely: I’ll tell you them all by their names as they pass by; but mark Troilus above the rest.
CRESSIDA
Speak not so loud.
Speak not so loud.
[AENEAS passes]
PANDARUS
That’s AEneas: is not that a brave man? he’s one of the flowers of Troy, I can tell you: but mark Troilus; you shall see anon.
That’s AEneas: is not that a brave man? he’s one of the flowers of Troy, I can tell you: but mark Troilus; you shall see anon.
[ANTENOR passes]
CRESSIDA
Who’s that?
Who’s that?
PANDARUS
That’s Antenor: he has a shrewd wit, I can tell you; and he’s a man good enough, he’s one o’ the soundest judgments in whosoever, and a proper man of person. When comes Troilus? I’ll show you Troilus anon: if he see me, you shall see him nod at me.
That’s Antenor: he has a shrewd wit, I can tell you; and he’s a man good enough, he’s one o’ the soundest judgments in whosoever, and a proper man of person. When comes Troilus? I’ll show you Troilus anon: if he see me, you shall see him nod at me.
CRESSIDA
Will he give you the nod?
Will he give you the nod?
PANDARUS
You shall see.
You shall see.
CRESSIDA
If he do, the rich shall have more.
If he do, the rich shall have more.
[HECTOR passes]
PANDARUS
That’s Hector, that, that, look you, that; there’s a fellow! Go thy way, Hector! There’s a brave man, niece. O brave Hector! Look how he looks! there’s a countenance! is’t not a brave man?
That’s Hector, that, that, look you, that; there’s a fellow! Go thy way, Hector! There’s a brave man, niece. O brave Hector! Look how he looks! there’s a countenance! is’t not a brave man?
CRESSIDA
O, a brave man!
O, a brave man!
PANDARUS
Is a’ not? it does a man’s heart good. Look you what hacks are on his helmet! look you yonder, do you see? look you there: there’s no jesting; there’s laying on, take’t off who will, as they say: there be hacks!
Is a’ not? it does a man’s heart good. Look you what hacks are on his helmet! look you yonder, do you see? look you there: there’s no jesting; there’s laying on, take’t off who will, as they say: there be hacks!
CRESSIDA
Be those with swords?
Be those with swords?
PANDARUS
Swords! any thing, he cares not; an the devil come to him, it’s all one: by God’s lid, it does one’s heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.
Swords! any thing, he cares not; an the devil come to him, it’s all one: by God’s lid, it does one’s heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.
[PARIS passes]
Look ye yonder, niece; is’t not a gallant man too, is’t not? Why, this is brave now. Who said he came hurt home to-day? he’s not hurt: why, this will do Helen’s heart good now, ha! Would I could see Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon.
[HELENUS passes]
CRESSIDA
Who’s that?
Who’s that?
PANDARUS
That’s Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That’s
Helenus. I think he went not forth to-day. That’s Helenus.
That’s Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That’s
Helenus. I think he went not forth to-day. That’s Helenus.
CRESSIDA
Can Helenus fight, uncle?
Can Helenus fight, uncle?
PANDARUS
Helenus? no. Yes, he’ll fight indifferent well. I marvel where Troilus is. Hark! do you not hear the people cry ’Troilus’? Helenus is a priest.
Helenus? no. Yes, he’ll fight indifferent well. I marvel where Troilus is. Hark! do you not hear the people cry ’Troilus’? Helenus is a priest.
CRESSIDA
What sneaking fellow comes yonder?
What sneaking fellow comes yonder?
[TROILUS passes]
PANDARUS
Where? yonder? that’s Deiphobus. ’Tis Troilus! there’s a man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus! the prince of chivalry!
Where? yonder? that’s Deiphobus. ’Tis Troilus! there’s a man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus! the prince of chivalry!
CRESSIDA
Peace, for shame, peace!
Peace, for shame, peace!
PANDARUS
Mark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon him, niece: look you how his sword is bloodied, and his helm more hacked than Hector’s, and how he looks, and how he goes! O admirable youth! he ne’er saw three and twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way! Had I a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess, he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris? Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to change, would give an eye to boot.
Mark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon him, niece: look you how his sword is bloodied, and his helm more hacked than Hector’s, and how he looks, and how he goes! O admirable youth! he ne’er saw three and twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way! Had I a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess, he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris? Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to change, would give an eye to boot.
CRESSIDA
Here come more.
Here come more.
[Forces pass]
PANDARUS
Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran! porridge after meat! I could live and die i’ the eyes of Troilus. Ne’er look, ne’er look: the eagles are gone: crows and daws, crows and daws! I had rather be such a man as Troilus than Agamemnon and all Greece.
Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran! porridge after meat! I could live and die i’ the eyes of Troilus. Ne’er look, ne’er look: the eagles are gone: crows and daws, crows and daws! I had rather be such a man as Troilus than Agamemnon and all Greece.
CRESSIDA
There is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than Troilus.
There is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than Troilus.
PANDARUS
Achilles! a drayman, a porter, a very camel.
Achilles! a drayman, a porter, a very camel.
CRESSIDA
Well, well.
Well, well.
PANDARUS
’Well, well!’ why, have you any discretion? have you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality, and such like, the spice and salt that season a man?
’Well, well!’ why, have you any discretion? have you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality, and such like, the spice and salt that season a man?
CRESSIDA
Ay, a minced man: and then to be baked with no date in the pie, for then the man’s date’s out.
Ay, a minced man: and then to be baked with no date in the pie, for then the man’s date’s out.
PANDARUS
You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you lie.
You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you lie.
CRESSIDA
Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine honesty; my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to defend all these: and at all these wards I lie, at a thousand watches.
Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine honesty; my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to defend all these: and at all these wards I lie, at a thousand watches.
PANDARUS
Say one of your watches.
Say one of your watches.
CRESSIDA
Nay, I’ll watch you for that; and that’s one of the chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it’s past watching.
Nay, I’ll watch you for that; and that’s one of the chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it’s past watching.
PANDARUS
You are such another!
You are such another!
[Enter Troilus’s Boy]
Boy
Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you.
Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you.
PANDARUS
Where?
Where?
Boy
At your own house; there he unarms him.
At your own house; there he unarms him.
PANDARUS
Good boy, tell him I come.
Good boy, tell him I come.
[Exit boy]
I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece.
CRESSIDA
Adieu, uncle.
Adieu, uncle.
PANDARUS
I’ll be with you, niece, by and by.
I’ll be with you, niece, by and by.
CRESSIDA
To bring, uncle?
To bring, uncle?
PANDARUS
Ay, a token from Troilus.
Ay, a token from Troilus.
CRESSIDA
By the same token, you are a bawd.
By the same token, you are a bawd.
[Exit PANDARUS]
Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love’s full sacrifice,
He offers in another’s enterprise;
But more in Troilus thousand fold I see
Than in the glass of Pandar’s praise may be;
Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:
Things won are done; joy’s soul lies in the doing.
That she beloved knows nought that knows not this:
Men prize the thing ungain’d more than it is:
That she was never yet that ever knew
Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
Achievement is command; ungain’d, beseech:
Then though my heart’s content firm love doth bear,
Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.
He offers in another’s enterprise;
But more in Troilus thousand fold I see
Than in the glass of Pandar’s praise may be;
Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:
Things won are done; joy’s soul lies in the doing.
That she beloved knows nought that knows not this:
Men prize the thing ungain’d more than it is:
That she was never yet that ever knew
Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
Achievement is command; ungain’d, beseech:
Then though my heart’s content firm love doth bear,
Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.
[Exeunt]
